Believing in Christmas again

At one point when I was little, I stopped believing in Christmas.

I remembered I used to love reading stories about Christmas and I adored Santa Claus, his elves, reindeers, snowman, etc. I would write a letter addressed to Santa and put it into the postbox though there wasn’t any mailing address (or stamp) on it. Just ‘Specially for Santa’. But I still thought some kind postman would probably help me deliver the letter to where ever Santa was and that I truly believe Santa would get my message.

One Christmas Eve, I found an old stocking somewhere in the house and decided to hang it up by my bed. I went to bed really early that night and left the bedroom door open just so Santa could visit me in the middle of the night. I woke up with anticipation the next morning and immediately reached out for my stocking but found nothing inside. Turned it inside out. Nothing.

I started questioning if Santa did exist. And the more I thought about it, the harder I cried. The final straw was when I was laughed at and teased for my behaviour and then I was told there wasn’t such a thing as Santa Claus. It felt like my little world crashed down on me. I was a lonely child who was often alone and believing in Santa wasn’t about me not being able to differentiate between fantasy and reality (not at the age of 5 or 6) but it was more about hanging onto something that could bring me immense comfort, happiness and joy. Christmas to me was a feeling of hope then. But I totally lost it after that morning.

20 over years later…

I woke up on Christmas Day last week and noticed a big, red stocking hanging on the bedroom door. And a peek inside revealed small little goodies that I would never imagine my stocking would contain.

forever friends christmas

My favourite Forever Friends bear. And a FF Christmas card which the husband promised he’d give one to me every year and he had kept his promise all these years.

It seemed to me that Santa did receive my letters after all. Though it took so many years for my wish to be fulfilled, it was better late than never. There is such a thing as Santa Claus who comes round during Christmas night to leave surprises and love behind for everyone.

I feel loved and I am blessed indeed. This is what Christmas is all about.

Thank you, the Santa of my life.


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